Time started: 01:59
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "The Island:Come And See/The Landlord's Daughter/You'll Not Feel The Drowning" - The Decemberists (the title of this blog comes from a line in this song)
Weather: Not as cold as I anticipated it to be. Yay!
I'm having strange sleeping patterns at the moment (I nap in 5 hour intervals) and right now I feel like I need to produce something, whether it'd be a drawing, or a blog.
I've decided a blog is an easier option. I'm lacking the energy to come up with anything artistic so I'll just go with half-hearted waffling instead.
I'm frustrated with my unproductiveness. These days all my body wants to do is lock up its joints and induce me to sleep all day...fitting 6 hours of piano practise a day is just not possible for me...
I'm trying very hard not to become depressed from this. Not being able to do what I'm supposed to do is really irritating and tiring...I do not want to head down the road of depression again. I'm sure I won't though. I know I'm emotionally a lot stronger than I used to be. I have a lot of help and support from those I love as well so I feel very blessed.
Random: My housemate just yelled "Are you denying that placentas have thoughts?!"...
Okay...sorry, just wanted to add that to show how strange my housemates are! Moving on!
Last Thursday I had to perform for Classical Forum. I have exceptional luck because two hours before my performance...I don't know how...but a huge gust of wind blew and managed to knock me over. I banged my right knee and sprained my left ankle. I've sprained my left ankle 12 times throughout my lifetime now. It's like it will never see better days ever again. Poor left ankle. I've abused you over the years! Forgive me! Argh! I'm talking to my ankle! Clearly I am losing my sanity. I'm not even sure if I've had it in the first place!
My performance was a disaster. I made wrong notes everywhere, and I very unprofessionally corrected my mistakes. The pieces had no flow. It was, quite frankly speaking, crap! Ahh well...I smiled and carried on. I got to the end and had fun anyway. I guess that's all that matters. The audience listened through it, at least!
I've spent the whole weekend being a bum pretty much. I think my sore legs have increased my fatigue with unrefreshing sleep, and lots of pain. I just put my legs up in hopes of them healing fast, which they are, thank goodness :).
Gosh, I am the biggest clutz in the world =P. At least I can laugh about it. That's probably why they're healing fast, because I'm not moping over the pain and letting them get me down. Okay...I am...BUT I LAUGH ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS! :(
Meh...this feels like a pointless and boring blog.
Um...I've listened to Mew's new album! It was an amazing music experience for me :). They're my favourite band and never fail to disappoint me. I don't want to write a review about their album now because I can't really express or justify how good I think it is and how much I love it with words.
Speaking of not being able to express loving something with words...I love you, LeLe. You help me and are there for me so much more than you'll ever know! Stop missing me so much! BE HAPPY! You'll hear so much from me you'll be SICK OF IT! >:0
Don't you just hate revealing your weaknesses?! I do =P. I think certain friends are going to use this to their advantage to tease me now =P. Ahaha...good ol' friends!
My teachers from different subjects are discussing my progress to each other. They're concerned about my low self-esteem. They tell me they worry about me. I'm touched they care about me. It makes me realise I should be careful with my attitude because people do care about me more than I realise and how I think and feel makes an impact on them even if it's only to a small degree. I really need to live by my own belief of being happy and making others happy because that is certainly true. If something bothers me, I won't hesitate to vent because from past experiences, I know it's unhealthy to bottle it up. However, I do not want to let my bothers bring me down anymore, or make it other people's problems. It's not fair...I feel like I'm making my problems Lucinda's problems too.
Well...I guess I've found a purpose to this blog entry now. I need to look after myself, sleep better, and stop worrying other people! RAR!
I am strong! I am strong! I am strong! Hell yeah I am! I CAN DUU EET!!!
Time finished: 2:47am
Listening to: "Sunsets" - Powderfinger
Mood: False confidence....meh!