Search This Blog

Sunday, July 5, 2009

I haven't updated in a sue me!

Time started: 00:40
Place: My bedroom
Listening to: My mother's snoring
Mood: Indifferent
Weather: Depressing...

Like the title of this blog says, I have updated in a while.
It's been an interesting past couple of months...I don't have all evening to update on everything so I guess I'll just write the highlights of each month.

I went to Perth for two weeks in April. The soul purpose was to visit Erin, and my aunt.
I stayed at Erin and Alan's apartment for the first week I was there. Her parents were there too. They took me around and I got to have a good glimpse of Western Australia, thanks to them :).
I celebrated my 21st early with Rin. We're twins after all, you see. The joint celebration had to be done.
I also caught up with Skyler, a high school friend who I haven't seen for 5 years. It was nice to have caught up with her.
The second week I stayed at my aunt's. My dad was down for a holiday too so it was good to have some time spent with him. They mostly took me around to eat good Chinese yum cha.

After the little holiday it was back to uni. It was a tough Term 2 for me. My health was deteriorating again with chronic fatigue syndrome from a mixture of stress, malnutrition to a small degree, and lack of sleep.

Soon April ended and thus came May. I celebrated my 21st in Adelaide, involving a relatively large gathering of friends for dinner, and karaoke afterwards. It was quite fun and I've never had such a big party before. I also had a humungous cake!

The happy period was brief, however. A couple of weeks later my mother was admitted to hospital due to severe haemorrhage in her brain. She was flown down to Adelaide for emergency surgery and was in the Intensive Care Unit for almost a week. By this time I was already very behind uni and my health was poor so this added a huge weight on my shoulders. I visited mum every single day at the hospital. It's so lucky it's just next to the university. I tried to be brave for her, trying not to show any signs of my own weak health and educational struggles. It's good that my mother is the strongest and bravest woman I know. She was sickeningly chirpy in hospital in fact. The nurses couldn't tell her to shut up enough from all her hyperactive chit chat!

The surgery was a huge success, 3 weeks later she was discharged and decided to reside with me.

June came. Exam season. I was well prepared for all my subjects except for the one that mattered the most: Classical Performance. I couldn't get the practise time with looking after my mother, travelling time, and chronic fatigue...I was on the verge of failing...
I didn't give up. I pushed myself to the extremes. I was practising 7-9 hours every day. I was not going to prove Lucinda right by failing.
My persistence and stubborness pulled me through and I did my exam with a good attitude. I played horribly...but regardless, I put on a good performance and Lucinda was more than pleased.

It is now July. It's winter. It's wet. It's cold. Mum is still here and doing well.
We're both incredibly homesick though. Mum's check up is on the 8th. If she gets the all clear we can go home straight after.

I'm tired. Both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Maybe the winter cold is dampening my spirits. I don't feel depressed, but I don't feel manic either. nostalgic feelings of bipolar are not present...
What I'm worried about is tonight I'm feeling a little apathetic about life. Maybe it's because I had a very long day today. It was a good day but I'm worn out. Pey Shin and I took my mum to Hahndorf. It could be the chronic fatigue that is making me feel this way but today's fatigue feels different for some reason. I've been thinking a hell of a lot for the past couple of nights. There has been, and will be a change of events. I should stop thinking. It's not doing me or anyone any favours. My indifference is turning to a great fear.

I'm fearing I will lose something that is very important to me...

Time finished: 01:07
Listening to: Mum snoring...
Mood: A little sad.

No comments:

Post a Comment