Time started: 22:56
Place: My room (Wattle Park, Adelaide)
Listening to: My clock ticking
Mood: Loved
I just took a nice long, warm, shower and I haven't felt this good in days being sick and all. It made me think about how good certain people make me feel. Haha, that turned out kind of wrong, didn't it....no-one needs to know how I feel while taking a shower xD.
So here's a testimonial to my friends who have done little things for me that did wonders to how I've been feeling. I've been really sick the past week and I've also been miserable missing Levon and some other "crap". You may not realise the little things that you do are all that matters...
Here's some friends worth honourable mentions for the past week or so:
Angie-pants: It was fun catching up with you in three different cities in a period of a month. It has been a while since we did things like this together. I'm glad you're still as bubbly and fun as ever. Thanks for showing Levon and I around in Melbourne in a period of an hour. And thanks for the random sms's that never fail to lift my spirits, even when I'm at my lowest.
Becky: You were great while I was down in Melbourne. You're still great now that I'm back in Adelaide. You understand the sadness I'm going through. Your concern for me is second to none. You've made me part of your family. You're a sweetheart and thanks for giving me the blessing of meeting our little nephew, little Liam! Thank you, Zombecca!
Bin Bin: Your constant messages, phone calls, and meetings just to see how I'm feeling, and the urgency to make me feel better is amazing. With the crap you have to go through yourself I can't imagine how you still have all that kindness just to be there for me at any chance you could. Your loyalty is astounding and your ability to listen has gotten me through.
KeKe: I'm touched by your persistence to be there for me even when I say I don't need it. Behind the crazy and bizarre things you do that frankly, make you look like a douche (no offense!), there is your ability to care (even when you say you don't) and your genuine compassion for others. I'm so glad that you've become such an important friend to me. I don't care how crazy you are, I'm proud to call you my friend.
Pey Pey: It's no surprise that you're listed here. You've been amazing over the years. I couldn't have dealt with this hard music course without you. You never hesitate to offer me a helping hand in all aspects of life. You had to go through so much of my sickness, my crying...everything, with so much concern. Thanks for the phone call just to see how I'm feeling and just for a chat. I'm sorry I'm worrying you with my absence. I will get better soon.
Rin Rin: My twin! I know you check up on me on msn whenever you suspect that I am in a low. You don't know how much a little "*heart*" or a "Hey" means to me. If only you'd stop being sick whenever I'm sick. We're both sick way too often. Please get better soon so we can continue having our routine hawt, vigorous buttsecks on the beach when we're both back in Darwin! *thrustthrustthrustthrustthrust!*
Tokyo-viking: Björn Björn! You're always up for a chat and that's all I need. You spread so much of your life, laughter, and love across the globe. You never put up with this sadness nonsense and do everything you could to eliminate it with your fun and playful nature. Thanks for your positive outlook in life. May you find what you're looking for in Japan!
And last, but not least...LeLe: After your three weeks of vacation with me, I cannot fathom why you still love me but I'm not going to complain. I'm sorry that you have to go back to heck loads of work...I hope you're coping okay. Your committment and dedication has moved me from one universe to another and is simply beyond my comprehension. I don't think I'd quite know what I'd be doing with my life without you. Now I have a direction because of all your love and support. Indescribeable is what you are to me. Calling you my other half would be an insult. You are my everything (you can all bag me out for being a wet lump of cheese, if you want...I don't care...), and for the squillionth time...I love you... *infinite hugs and kisses*
I tried to add a heart symbol at the end of each paragraph but html settings would't let me. LAME! Just envision a heart at the end of every paragraph yourself :P.
For anyone who I have not mentioned, please note that you are no less important to me than those I've mentioned. It's just that these guys have been wonderful over the past week and a half for me. I haven't forgotten about you.
Time finished: 23:48
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Tick...tick...tick...tick...
Time started: 21:04
Place: My room (Wattle Park, Adelaide)
Listening to: Clock ticking...
Weather: Cold enough for me to whine.
Mood: Lonely
I haven't updated this blog for 4 months...
Here's a brief update:
I've moved out in April and I'm loving my new place. The family I live with is lovely too.
I had my 22nd birthday. I can't remember what I did to celebrate...nothing much.
Last semester was the hardest semester I've ever encountered in my tertiary educational life...but I got through it, barely.
Levon came to visit me for three weeks last month. They were the happiest and most natural three weeks of my life.
Well it's been a week since I said goodbye to him and since I've arrived back to Adelaide to continue with uni.
I'm alone in my room, missing Darwin, missing my parents, missing my friends, missing him...and I've realised that the ticking of the clock is the loneliest sound in the world. It is reminding me of all the spaces between. It is reminding me how long it has been...how much further away those times have been...and how much longer it will be...
I'm feeling a bit empty right now. Uni and uni friends are keeping me going, helping the time pass by, but I still can't help feeling really lonely and empty inside. I'm relying on the ticking of the clock to motivate me...
I have no problem picking my spirits up when I'm with my friends but when I come home to a room with an unmade bed, overloaded laundry basket, a piano with sheet music sprawled all over, and the deafening silence accompanied by the dead-pan, mechanical ticking of the clock...I can't help but feel I'm alone again and I start missing the most important people, places, and things in my life.
Tick...tick...tick...
I don't even want to think about how many more seconds it will be til I feel alive again...
Time finished: 21:22
Place: My room (Wattle Park, Adelaide)
Listening to: Clock ticking...
Weather: Cold enough for me to whine.
Mood: Lonely
I haven't updated this blog for 4 months...
Here's a brief update:
I've moved out in April and I'm loving my new place. The family I live with is lovely too.
I had my 22nd birthday. I can't remember what I did to celebrate...nothing much.
Last semester was the hardest semester I've ever encountered in my tertiary educational life...but I got through it, barely.
Levon came to visit me for three weeks last month. They were the happiest and most natural three weeks of my life.
Well it's been a week since I said goodbye to him and since I've arrived back to Adelaide to continue with uni.
I'm alone in my room, missing Darwin, missing my parents, missing my friends, missing him...and I've realised that the ticking of the clock is the loneliest sound in the world. It is reminding me of all the spaces between. It is reminding me how long it has been...how much further away those times have been...and how much longer it will be...
I'm feeling a bit empty right now. Uni and uni friends are keeping me going, helping the time pass by, but I still can't help feeling really lonely and empty inside. I'm relying on the ticking of the clock to motivate me...
I have no problem picking my spirits up when I'm with my friends but when I come home to a room with an unmade bed, overloaded laundry basket, a piano with sheet music sprawled all over, and the deafening silence accompanied by the dead-pan, mechanical ticking of the clock...I can't help but feel I'm alone again and I start missing the most important people, places, and things in my life.
Tick...tick...tick...
I don't even want to think about how many more seconds it will be til I feel alive again...
Time finished: 21:22
Monday, April 5, 2010
*Smiles*
Time started: 21:26
Place: My room (Brahma Lodge, Adelaide)
Listening to: "Good to Sea" - Pinback
Weather: Humid and breezy
Mood: All smiles :)
I was struggling with life towards the end of last year. Financial and health problems went completely down the drain. I was on the verge of insanity.
Now things are changing. After working my arse off during the summer holidays with three jobs (doing almost double full time) I've saved up enough to get by and help my parents out. I've also found a new place to move out.
From now on I will be living in Wattle Park with a very nice family where I have the underground compartment of their mansion all to myself :). I will also be able to practise on the piano as much as I want without having to worry about pestering anybody around me. They just wanted to help me out after what I've gone through. When I went to their place last night for dinner I couldn't help but cry with tears of joy. I was overwhelmed with their friendliness and my very sudden change in luck. The landlady gave me a hug and said that she'd treat me like a daughter and I just cried some more. Not only is the place beautiful, but the neighbourhood is as well. I will get to do a lot of walking around and feeling at ease!
Now I can focus on getting back on track with life. I've been scraping through with uni, making all ends meet and going from high distinctions to barely passing. Now I can finally enjoy playing the piano like I used to and show that I actually do love music and I'm not just playing notes. Now I can go buy myself lunch when I'm out without having to worry about whether I'll have enough money to pay the rent. Now I don't have to spend the majority of my days trying to stay awake from lack of sleep and be on public transport to uni and back. And now I can reassure my mother that I am fine, and I also don't have to worry about her and her health since she is on her way to making a full recovery. The happiness and the peace of mind certainly helps.
My mother is down for three weeks because she has some medical check ups at the hospital and also to help me out a little with my moving out....oh yeah, and for a holiday of course. 90% of my packing is done so now we can just chillax in the last remaining days of what has been the place I've lived in Adelaide for nearly 4 years (that has caused me a lot of stress and grief but will miss it all the same).
To my two housemates who have lived with me the entire time, Jarrad and Ryan, I thank you both for your patience and gratitude of having me as a housemate. It was really an experience, both good and bad. I really will miss you guys even if you guys don't think so. Please keep in touch and if you won't, I will!
Another thing to look forward to (and it will be the highlight to my entire year): Levon is visiting me in July for three weeks. It's been over a year since I've seen him and the long wait of not having to miss each other (even if it's only for temporarily short period of time) will soon be over!
For those who are in similar situations to what I've been through before right now, and I am aware there are some of you out there...stick it out. Things will turn out soon. There are always people around you, friends, family, teachers, who are willing to help you as much as they can so don't give up hope! I know I've found my friends, family and teachers who I can depend on. They know who they are :). <3>
Time finished: 21:54
Listening to: "The Widow" - The Mars Volta
Mood: Lucky
Place: My room (Brahma Lodge, Adelaide)
Listening to: "Good to Sea" - Pinback
Weather: Humid and breezy
Mood: All smiles :)
I was struggling with life towards the end of last year. Financial and health problems went completely down the drain. I was on the verge of insanity.
Now things are changing. After working my arse off during the summer holidays with three jobs (doing almost double full time) I've saved up enough to get by and help my parents out. I've also found a new place to move out.
From now on I will be living in Wattle Park with a very nice family where I have the underground compartment of their mansion all to myself :). I will also be able to practise on the piano as much as I want without having to worry about pestering anybody around me. They just wanted to help me out after what I've gone through. When I went to their place last night for dinner I couldn't help but cry with tears of joy. I was overwhelmed with their friendliness and my very sudden change in luck. The landlady gave me a hug and said that she'd treat me like a daughter and I just cried some more. Not only is the place beautiful, but the neighbourhood is as well. I will get to do a lot of walking around and feeling at ease!
Now I can focus on getting back on track with life. I've been scraping through with uni, making all ends meet and going from high distinctions to barely passing. Now I can finally enjoy playing the piano like I used to and show that I actually do love music and I'm not just playing notes. Now I can go buy myself lunch when I'm out without having to worry about whether I'll have enough money to pay the rent. Now I don't have to spend the majority of my days trying to stay awake from lack of sleep and be on public transport to uni and back. And now I can reassure my mother that I am fine, and I also don't have to worry about her and her health since she is on her way to making a full recovery. The happiness and the peace of mind certainly helps.
My mother is down for three weeks because she has some medical check ups at the hospital and also to help me out a little with my moving out....oh yeah, and for a holiday of course. 90% of my packing is done so now we can just chillax in the last remaining days of what has been the place I've lived in Adelaide for nearly 4 years (that has caused me a lot of stress and grief but will miss it all the same).
To my two housemates who have lived with me the entire time, Jarrad and Ryan, I thank you both for your patience and gratitude of having me as a housemate. It was really an experience, both good and bad. I really will miss you guys even if you guys don't think so. Please keep in touch and if you won't, I will!
Another thing to look forward to (and it will be the highlight to my entire year): Levon is visiting me in July for three weeks. It's been over a year since I've seen him and the long wait of not having to miss each other (even if it's only for temporarily short period of time) will soon be over!
For those who are in similar situations to what I've been through before right now, and I am aware there are some of you out there...stick it out. Things will turn out soon. There are always people around you, friends, family, teachers, who are willing to help you as much as they can so don't give up hope! I know I've found my friends, family and teachers who I can depend on. They know who they are :). <3>
Time finished: 21:54
Listening to: "The Widow" - The Mars Volta
Mood: Lucky
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Waiting
Time started: 21:27
Place: Living room (Adelaide)
Listening to: The television
Weather: Nippy
Mood: Indifferent
Waiting is one of the most unpleasant feelings. While you wait, you ponder. While you ponder, other uncertain feelings can arise. Doubt, inconfidence, anxiety...
Waiting can also increase anticipation, that can only increase the likelihood of disappointment in the end.
Waiting is time wasted. Dead time.
One of life's greatest miseries is waiting...
Time finished: 21:34
Listening to: Breeze
Mood: Unmotivated
Place: Living room (Adelaide)
Listening to: The television
Weather: Nippy
Mood: Indifferent
Waiting is one of the most unpleasant feelings. While you wait, you ponder. While you ponder, other uncertain feelings can arise. Doubt, inconfidence, anxiety...
Waiting can also increase anticipation, that can only increase the likelihood of disappointment in the end.
Waiting is time wasted. Dead time.
One of life's greatest miseries is waiting...
Time finished: 21:34
Listening to: Breeze
Mood: Unmotivated
Friday, November 13, 2009
How Are You Living Your Life?
Time started: 23:43
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Silence
Mood: Grief
It's been a week since Victor's death. He died in a car crash Saturday, 7th November and it's taken its time to sink in for me...
His death impacted a lot on his family and friends, including myself, even though I wasn't that close to him.
However, I grew up with him, saw him at school every day, and he would always be up for a friendly chat.
He was one of the nicest person I knew and had a big heart. It just seemed so unfair he had to go like this and so soon...
Too young, too early...
Needless to say, I've had a bit of a rough week but I can't compare against his family and close friends. I simply can't...
I just saw a video of the news and it hit me like a truck on how real his death is. He is really gone...
I just can't comprehend that...
Here's the link I saw: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=203350576101&ref=mf
I'm just kicking myself I watched it through facebook...
He just turned 21, studying civil engineering at uni, and had so much to live for...and suddenly he's gone...
Everyone expects to live their life to the fullest, living day to day making plans, dreaming, expecting, worrying...and they just don't realise how fragile life can be...
I know I'm one of those people. I live every day worrying about my future. Stressing out about everything. Making my own life miserable with the smallest things...
Over the past month all I've been doing is whining about how hard university is, about how hard it is to cope with my chronic fatigue, now all that just seems too mundane and shallow and Victor's death gave me a whole new perspective in life. Death is very real and no matter how hard you work and worry to give yourself a good life, you are just never in control, no matter how much you want to be...
I hate how the news just make his death at a statistic...
"The NT road toll now stands at 28 compared to 69 at the same time last year." I mean...yeah, it's a road toll statistic but it's another life gone. It's a death of a human being. A life loved by friends and family. A son, a brother, a friend. A life filled with hopes, thoughts, dreams, ambition. A life that was never lived full and suddenly taken away tragically...
However I'm glad to have found an article that was a bit more sensitive about his death: link http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/11/10/99711_ntnews.html
It's nice to know that not all journalists see him as a number but as a human being...
His funeral is tomorrow back in Darwin and I'm stuck in Adelaide worrying about handing in essays, doing assignments, and preparing for exams...
The best I can do is to write a silly blog entry...
I guess my aim is to forget about my stupid essays for a while and take the time to commemorate the life of a young man who was kind and caring who did so much for his family, friends, and the community, and to provide you all with the message that life should never be taken for granted. Please remember to laugh, love and live every day.
Time finished: 00:12
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Silence
Mood: Grief
It's been a week since Victor's death. He died in a car crash Saturday, 7th November and it's taken its time to sink in for me...
His death impacted a lot on his family and friends, including myself, even though I wasn't that close to him.
However, I grew up with him, saw him at school every day, and he would always be up for a friendly chat.
He was one of the nicest person I knew and had a big heart. It just seemed so unfair he had to go like this and so soon...
Too young, too early...
Needless to say, I've had a bit of a rough week but I can't compare against his family and close friends. I simply can't...
I just saw a video of the news and it hit me like a truck on how real his death is. He is really gone...
I just can't comprehend that...
Here's the link I saw: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=203350576101&ref=mf
I'm just kicking myself I watched it through facebook...
He just turned 21, studying civil engineering at uni, and had so much to live for...and suddenly he's gone...
Everyone expects to live their life to the fullest, living day to day making plans, dreaming, expecting, worrying...and they just don't realise how fragile life can be...
I know I'm one of those people. I live every day worrying about my future. Stressing out about everything. Making my own life miserable with the smallest things...
Over the past month all I've been doing is whining about how hard university is, about how hard it is to cope with my chronic fatigue, now all that just seems too mundane and shallow and Victor's death gave me a whole new perspective in life. Death is very real and no matter how hard you work and worry to give yourself a good life, you are just never in control, no matter how much you want to be...
I hate how the news just make his death at a statistic...
"The NT road toll now stands at 28 compared to 69 at the same time last year." I mean...yeah, it's a road toll statistic but it's another life gone. It's a death of a human being. A life loved by friends and family. A son, a brother, a friend. A life filled with hopes, thoughts, dreams, ambition. A life that was never lived full and suddenly taken away tragically...
However I'm glad to have found an article that was a bit more sensitive about his death: link http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/11/10/99711_ntnews.html
It's nice to know that not all journalists see him as a number but as a human being...
His funeral is tomorrow back in Darwin and I'm stuck in Adelaide worrying about handing in essays, doing assignments, and preparing for exams...
The best I can do is to write a silly blog entry...
I guess my aim is to forget about my stupid essays for a while and take the time to commemorate the life of a young man who was kind and caring who did so much for his family, friends, and the community, and to provide you all with the message that life should never be taken for granted. Please remember to laugh, love and live every day.
Time finished: 00:12
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Stubborness is a good thing!
Time started: 23:15
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Anthems for a Seventeen-year-old Girl" - Broken Social Scene
Weather: Pleasant =)
Mood: Good =)
I just thought I'd immediately update and respond to my entry from last night...
After beating myself up emotionally last night I've decided I was being ridiculous and took action into changing my attitude immediately. I wasn't going to let my sickness dictate my life!
Be happy, make others happy, and life will be happy.
I meditated to clear my thoughts last night, didn't get much sleep but when I did, it was quality sleep.
I woke up, went to my lesson, still had the biggest migraine ever, but managed to learn a lot from my brief piano lesson with Lucinda this morning. It was brief because I apparently looked like death and was still really sick and tired but I didn't care. I was in a better mood.
After my piano lesson, we had our aural exam. I was expecting to fail because I didn't prepare, I was seeing zig-zags all over the page from the migraine, and my ears were ringing...but I surprisingly cruised through it with no problem. In fact, I'm confident I got 100% :'D.
Later in the afternoon I went to the library to make a start on my essay but I was feeling really nauseated and my migraine was getting worse. I ended up falling asleep at the study table for 2 hours. I can't believe I was knocked out at the library for 2 hours!
I forced myself to get up and go to practise. My head felt like a tonne of bricks but that didn't stop me. I was in a very determined mood to practise and I was, despite my condition, in good spirits. DANG YOU, MIGRAINE! I AIN'T LETTING YOU DEFEAT ME!
To my surprise, the room LG08 was free! I took advantage and started practising straight away.
I don't know how I did it...but I managed to practise in there for 4 hours straight...NON-STOP! It was pretty productive too!
So yeah. I feel like crap physically but emotionally I'm great :'D.
It just goes to show how much positivity with a touch of stubborness can make a difference to getting through.
Well...it was probably really stupid of me to stay at uni and exhaust myself for 12 hours with a huge migraine and chronic fatigue syndrome...but hey, at least I'm happy!
I think I deserve a night of epic sleep now...
I'll make sure to look after myself now...
And I just want to say thanks to those who've encouraged me to be happy and reassure me of my capabilities. I'm feeling a little more confident in myself now. Thanks for all your support. You're all the main reason why I'm feeling happy today =).
Okay...time to hit the sack. You'll probably hear my loud snoring from afar tonight...
Time finished: 23:35
Listening to: "Black and White Town" - Doves
Mood: Content
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Anthems for a Seventeen-year-old Girl" - Broken Social Scene
Weather: Pleasant =)
Mood: Good =)
I just thought I'd immediately update and respond to my entry from last night...
After beating myself up emotionally last night I've decided I was being ridiculous and took action into changing my attitude immediately. I wasn't going to let my sickness dictate my life!
Be happy, make others happy, and life will be happy.
I meditated to clear my thoughts last night, didn't get much sleep but when I did, it was quality sleep.
I woke up, went to my lesson, still had the biggest migraine ever, but managed to learn a lot from my brief piano lesson with Lucinda this morning. It was brief because I apparently looked like death and was still really sick and tired but I didn't care. I was in a better mood.
After my piano lesson, we had our aural exam. I was expecting to fail because I didn't prepare, I was seeing zig-zags all over the page from the migraine, and my ears were ringing...but I surprisingly cruised through it with no problem. In fact, I'm confident I got 100% :'D.
Later in the afternoon I went to the library to make a start on my essay but I was feeling really nauseated and my migraine was getting worse. I ended up falling asleep at the study table for 2 hours. I can't believe I was knocked out at the library for 2 hours!
I forced myself to get up and go to practise. My head felt like a tonne of bricks but that didn't stop me. I was in a very determined mood to practise and I was, despite my condition, in good spirits. DANG YOU, MIGRAINE! I AIN'T LETTING YOU DEFEAT ME!
To my surprise, the room LG08 was free! I took advantage and started practising straight away.
I don't know how I did it...but I managed to practise in there for 4 hours straight...NON-STOP! It was pretty productive too!
So yeah. I feel like crap physically but emotionally I'm great :'D.
It just goes to show how much positivity with a touch of stubborness can make a difference to getting through.
Well...it was probably really stupid of me to stay at uni and exhaust myself for 12 hours with a huge migraine and chronic fatigue syndrome...but hey, at least I'm happy!
I think I deserve a night of epic sleep now...
I'll make sure to look after myself now...
And I just want to say thanks to those who've encouraged me to be happy and reassure me of my capabilities. I'm feeling a little more confident in myself now. Thanks for all your support. You're all the main reason why I'm feeling happy today =).
Okay...time to hit the sack. You'll probably hear my loud snoring from afar tonight...
Time finished: 23:35
Listening to: "Black and White Town" - Doves
Mood: Content
Monday, October 26, 2009
Insane, Dazed Brain, and a Migraine.
Time started: 20:11
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: the ringing of my ears...
Weather: Nippy
Mood: Lacking self-respect.
Yes, yes, I know...I whine all the time. I'd say 90% of my entries are just whining...*sigh*
I've made some last resort decisions in the past week:
I am going to do my piano exam in February instead of November because my progress is just way too slow.
I am also going to study part-time starting from next year which will mean by the time I graduate (gosh, I just hope I get to graduate!) I would've been studying at uni for 8 years only to get this one measley degree...
I'm just so tired...
I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of having this mind-set of not being able to do anything...
I played Debussy's Toccata at tech & rep class today. Not because I was scheduled to, but because I love this piece and I thought I was ready. I crashed and burned 100 times worse than I thought I would.
I know I haven't finished learning the piece for very long but I have played it so many times without stopping or huge errors, and with expression and colour but what I did in class today was a total disaster! I don't know why, but as soon as I went up to adjust the piano stool I suddenly felt ill. I could feel every muscle in my body tense. My fingers felt paralysed and from the word go, I was in total panic! I didn't even feel nervous initially. It just hit me like a truck...My fingers fumbled as they tried to move, I had a mental block from the panic and stopped everywhere, and I didn't feel the music at all. I was playing so dead-pan just to try to play from beginning to end...
It felt like the longest five minutes of my life just trying to get through the piece in front of the class...
I felt really depressed after because I wasn't sick today yet I played bad enough to make people's ears bleed...
I wasn't sick today. I had no excuse. And so what if I was nervous? I've played the piano long enough to be able to play in front of an audience...
I felt really depressed because Lucinda wasn't mad at me. She pitied me. So did everyone else...I didn't care if I went through a lot this year. I didn't care that I'm not at the best of health...
I felt really depressed because Lucinda hasn't seen me in my good days and every time I tell her I am capable, she just thinks my thoughts are just deluded because I am sick and that it's okay to be handicapped...
"Don't be too hard on yourself...", "It wasn't that bad...", "You're doing fine...", "Take it easy..."
Take it easy? That's the only thing I've been doing since year 11! Take it easy...
Disability memorandums, doctor certificates, medical considerations, special requirements, whining, crying, complaining...that's all I've been doing to pass over the past 5 years just to pass and get better grades while everyone else is working hard and being diligent without any aid like I should be! It just doesn't seem fair...
Oh, but you're sick, Min. You're going through a lot of problems in life, Min. It's okay...
So what?! Everyone gets sick! Everyone has problems! Why should I be any different? I don't have a terminal illness...
*Sigh*
I just cried after class. I cried almost throughout my one hour bus ride home. I was so upset. I know there's no point in being so hard on myself but maybe that's just it...maybe I'm not hard on myself enough so I can't handle anything...
When I got home, I desperately tried to get some practise done but from being upset I developed a migraine.
It's one problem after another...
I just fell asleep at the piano for a couple of hours...when I woke up, I stood up and nearly toppled over and hit my head in the corner. Well this is just great...
I'm angry. I'm angry because no matter how hard I try to be positive, no matter how hard I try to get things done, no matter how hard I try to make situations easier it just never happens...
I'm angry because I always have to find alternatives to get through things...
I'm angry because the house is a mess...not tidied, not vaccuumed, undone dishes, unswept floor, it's a MESS!
I'm angry because I still have this migraine and I have an aural exam tomorrow...there's ringing in my ears...
I'm angry because I just complained about having a migraine and used it as an excuse to not study or do my assignments and spend my time making this stupid entry instead...
So am I really sick? Or am I just pathetic?
I am a disappointment to my mother. I'm sick, stupid, and incapable and do nothing but disappoint her...
I know she's proud of me...but she's only proud of me because despite my stupid and sickly nature, I still persist on going...and continuously hitting my head against a brick wall...
"Maybe you're just not good enough for uni..."
I miss Levon like hell...he is the one person who makes me feel like I'm good enough for something at times like these...
I just want this all to stop. I want to be happy and healthy again...
When I made dinner tonight I couldn't even remember that I was looking for the wooden spoon and when I did remember, and I found it, I just stared at it for a lengthened period of time without remembering to pick it up.
Stupid spoon...it made me so angry...
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Time finished: 21:02
Listening to: Jarrad shouting "YOU F***ING FAGGOT!" at someone over the internet...
Mood: Sleepy...
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: the ringing of my ears...
Weather: Nippy
Mood: Lacking self-respect.
Yes, yes, I know...I whine all the time. I'd say 90% of my entries are just whining...*sigh*
I've made some last resort decisions in the past week:
I am going to do my piano exam in February instead of November because my progress is just way too slow.
I am also going to study part-time starting from next year which will mean by the time I graduate (gosh, I just hope I get to graduate!) I would've been studying at uni for 8 years only to get this one measley degree...
I'm just so tired...
I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm tired of having this mind-set of not being able to do anything...
I played Debussy's Toccata at tech & rep class today. Not because I was scheduled to, but because I love this piece and I thought I was ready. I crashed and burned 100 times worse than I thought I would.
I know I haven't finished learning the piece for very long but I have played it so many times without stopping or huge errors, and with expression and colour but what I did in class today was a total disaster! I don't know why, but as soon as I went up to adjust the piano stool I suddenly felt ill. I could feel every muscle in my body tense. My fingers felt paralysed and from the word go, I was in total panic! I didn't even feel nervous initially. It just hit me like a truck...My fingers fumbled as they tried to move, I had a mental block from the panic and stopped everywhere, and I didn't feel the music at all. I was playing so dead-pan just to try to play from beginning to end...
It felt like the longest five minutes of my life just trying to get through the piece in front of the class...
I felt really depressed after because I wasn't sick today yet I played bad enough to make people's ears bleed...
I wasn't sick today. I had no excuse. And so what if I was nervous? I've played the piano long enough to be able to play in front of an audience...
I felt really depressed because Lucinda wasn't mad at me. She pitied me. So did everyone else...I didn't care if I went through a lot this year. I didn't care that I'm not at the best of health...
I felt really depressed because Lucinda hasn't seen me in my good days and every time I tell her I am capable, she just thinks my thoughts are just deluded because I am sick and that it's okay to be handicapped...
"Don't be too hard on yourself...", "It wasn't that bad...", "You're doing fine...", "Take it easy..."
Take it easy? That's the only thing I've been doing since year 11! Take it easy...
Disability memorandums, doctor certificates, medical considerations, special requirements, whining, crying, complaining...that's all I've been doing to pass over the past 5 years just to pass and get better grades while everyone else is working hard and being diligent without any aid like I should be! It just doesn't seem fair...
Oh, but you're sick, Min. You're going through a lot of problems in life, Min. It's okay...
So what?! Everyone gets sick! Everyone has problems! Why should I be any different? I don't have a terminal illness...
*Sigh*
I just cried after class. I cried almost throughout my one hour bus ride home. I was so upset. I know there's no point in being so hard on myself but maybe that's just it...maybe I'm not hard on myself enough so I can't handle anything...
When I got home, I desperately tried to get some practise done but from being upset I developed a migraine.
It's one problem after another...
I just fell asleep at the piano for a couple of hours...when I woke up, I stood up and nearly toppled over and hit my head in the corner. Well this is just great...
I'm angry. I'm angry because no matter how hard I try to be positive, no matter how hard I try to get things done, no matter how hard I try to make situations easier it just never happens...
I'm angry because I always have to find alternatives to get through things...
I'm angry because the house is a mess...not tidied, not vaccuumed, undone dishes, unswept floor, it's a MESS!
I'm angry because I still have this migraine and I have an aural exam tomorrow...there's ringing in my ears...
I'm angry because I just complained about having a migraine and used it as an excuse to not study or do my assignments and spend my time making this stupid entry instead...
So am I really sick? Or am I just pathetic?
I am a disappointment to my mother. I'm sick, stupid, and incapable and do nothing but disappoint her...
I know she's proud of me...but she's only proud of me because despite my stupid and sickly nature, I still persist on going...and continuously hitting my head against a brick wall...
"Maybe you're just not good enough for uni..."
I miss Levon like hell...he is the one person who makes me feel like I'm good enough for something at times like these...
I just want this all to stop. I want to be happy and healthy again...
When I made dinner tonight I couldn't even remember that I was looking for the wooden spoon and when I did remember, and I found it, I just stared at it for a lengthened period of time without remembering to pick it up.
Stupid spoon...it made me so angry...
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Time finished: 21:02
Listening to: Jarrad shouting "YOU F***ING FAGGOT!" at someone over the internet...
Mood: Sleepy...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Hexyuna!
Time started: 21:09
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Listen to the Math" - Tokyo Police Club
Weather: Quite pleasant
Mood: Calm
This is going to be short.
I finally finished learning Grieg's piano sonata, 2nd movement today. The first piece in my program to be learned. It's like week 8. It's about time I finished learning something. I still can't play it very well though. In fact it sounds horrible. Oh well...
Piano practise is tiring. Probably because I've been so stressed and depressed lately but the last couple of days I've just been calming myself down, staying home and resting, and meditating. I'm thinking more rationally and positively now so hopefully this can help me get through for the rest of the year.
I've been going concerts where Steven's compositions have been performed. I think they're brilliant. Words cannot express how proud I am of him. Who would've thought such great music could be created by a close friend of mine!
Mum's starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and dad's starting to talk to me more now.
Um. 6 months!
Happy Birthday, Russell. I still think you're an old geiser...
And to a dear friend of mine...she knows who she is. I really hope you feel better soon. I am very worried about you. I know you don't want me to be and you probably feel that I shouldn't be, but I am. I hope life will be good to you soon. You deserve every happiness in the world.
You've given me a lifetime of the most pleasant memories and I know there will be more to come, just as long as you keep being who you are so stay strong and love yourself as much as we love you.
Okay. So it wasn't that short...but it's a lot shorter than what my entries usually are...
Ciao, for now!
Time finished: 21:17pm
Listening to: "Nature of the Experiment" - Tokyo Police Club
Mood: Ready to sleep
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Listen to the Math" - Tokyo Police Club
Weather: Quite pleasant
Mood: Calm
This is going to be short.
I finally finished learning Grieg's piano sonata, 2nd movement today. The first piece in my program to be learned. It's like week 8. It's about time I finished learning something. I still can't play it very well though. In fact it sounds horrible. Oh well...
Piano practise is tiring. Probably because I've been so stressed and depressed lately but the last couple of days I've just been calming myself down, staying home and resting, and meditating. I'm thinking more rationally and positively now so hopefully this can help me get through for the rest of the year.
I've been going concerts where Steven's compositions have been performed. I think they're brilliant. Words cannot express how proud I am of him. Who would've thought such great music could be created by a close friend of mine!
Mum's starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and dad's starting to talk to me more now.
Um. 6 months!
Happy Birthday, Russell. I still think you're an old geiser...
And to a dear friend of mine...she knows who she is. I really hope you feel better soon. I am very worried about you. I know you don't want me to be and you probably feel that I shouldn't be, but I am. I hope life will be good to you soon. You deserve every happiness in the world.
You've given me a lifetime of the most pleasant memories and I know there will be more to come, just as long as you keep being who you are so stay strong and love yourself as much as we love you.
Okay. So it wasn't that short...but it's a lot shorter than what my entries usually are...
Ciao, for now!
Time finished: 21:17pm
Listening to: "Nature of the Experiment" - Tokyo Police Club
Mood: Ready to sleep
Saturday, September 5, 2009
A Good Deed makes a Good Day
Time started: 23:11
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased.)" - Radiohead
Weather: Not bad.
Mood: Helpful.
I was practising on the piano in the afternoon at home then I hear a slow and soft knocking at our door. I came to an abrupt stop and went to greet the knocker.
It was the elderly woman nextdoor and she seemed a little distressed.
"Ehkyooz meh, leh'il misseh, Ay woz jost wondrin' ef yew cewd du meh a wee leh'il fehvir?" she said in her Scottish accent (for those who can't decipher what I just wrote, it's "Excuse me, li'l missy, I was just wonderin' if you could do me a wee li'l favour?" xD).
I said "Sure, what do you need help with?"
"Well, yew see, my cat cawt a mohwse yeh see, and she's in the 'ohwse an' Ay am afrehd tew goh in..."
"Oh! So would you like me to see if I could get the mouse out for you?"
"Ah yes, please. Thaht wewd beh lohvleh!" she beamed.
I walked into the house to look for her cat. It was an extremely dim lit room with an old rug, old furniture, and old ornaments on the cabinet. The living room smelled of mothballs. A very neat, tidy and typical home of an elderly woman. As I looked around, there was her cat, by the sofa. It was the fluffy black and white feline that I saw almost everyday hanging around our yard. So this is who the cat belongs to! That's one of my life's questions answered!
The cat walked up to me and friendly rubbed against my leg. I gave it a little scratch behind its ears as it closed its eyes and purred in bliss.
"So you're the culprit! So where's the poor thing you've caught?"
As if the cat understood me, she turned around and started playing with this poor little creature that was sort of limping about but still alive.
I called out to the old lady "I found the mouse. Do you have a plastic bag or anything I could use?"
"Yes, Ay've gawt 'em en thih kehtchen dra'er, therd draw dohwn."
Finding a plastic bag in the kitchen, third draw down with no problem, I pulled it out and hurried to the struggling little creature that was temporarily acting as a yarnball for the cat.
The cat obviously wanted to have some fun with it.
"Oi, you...get out of the way so I can get the poor thing!"
The cat wasn't going to fight me. Let's face it. It's smart and knew I was bigger and tougher than she was. I fumbled in the dark room, trying to get this mouse out of the corner. It took me a few seconds to realise that this 'mouse' was no mouse at all! It was a little baby bird!
"Aw, it's not a mouse! It's a bird!"
"Aw naw! Thet's terr'ble! 'f et wawz a mohwse it's nawt soh bahd bot a berd! Thet's jost naw gewd!"
As I held the chick in my hand, it struggled for a while to break free. I held it firmly but not tight enough to hurt it. I looked all over its body to check for any major injuries. The bird was all fine, except for one crippled leg.
"It doesn't look like it's hurt too badly, just one injured leg." I explained.
"Aw gewd! Thahnk ye' soh moch fer ye' trawble! Ay cen goh bahck entew my 'owse agen!" she thanked gratefully.
"No worries. I was glad to have been able to help. I'll try to look after this bird for a while before taking it to the RSPCA".
"Aw thet's soh kaynd ov yew! Yew 'ave a loovleh deh!"
"You too!"
Gosh, I love her Scottish accent! Eheheheh...
The chick calmed down in my hands as I stroked it to calm it down. I could feel its heart throb against my fingers. It was frantic at first but after a couple of minutes of me calming it down, it went down to a very light and slower beating.
As I held it with one hand, I searched my room for a small empty box. With luck, I found an old, empty box in the top shelf of my wardrobe. I didn't think I'd ever use it again so I gently placed the chick into the box. It seemed too tired to respond to its new surrounding and quickly went into a nap.
I searched the kitchen to see if there was anything suitable for me to feed the bird with. I had some apples and mandarins. I also had some left over pasta and rice but I thought the preservatives probably wouldn't be good for the bird.
I mooshed up a bit of apple and mandarin and went over to the bird. I wasn't sure if it would eat fruit but I gave it a try.
As I popped my ugly face over the opening of the box, the bird looked up at me. It looked like it knew I was going to feed it and it opened its mouth. Aww...it was so cute.
I put a bit of mandarin into its mouth. It nibbled on it a bit then dropped from its beak. I tried giving it another piece. It cooperatively opened its mouth again. Again it didn't go in. I tried a third time, and this time I realised it just didn't like the mandarin. I gave the apple a try. After a few goes I decided it had the same result as the mandarin. So the bird wasn't much of a fruit eater then. It looked more like a worm or a locust type.
I went out to search for any bugs that looked like bird feed. I had no luck. I dug around a bit. I don't think I could find any worms and I had a fever too so it was probably a bad idea for me to be out and about digging around for worms.
I went back in to check on the bird. It just sat in the box looking tired. It looked up at me and opened its mouth again.
I went to the kitchen and got a straw. I put some water into the straw and closed one end of the straw so the water was retained. I went back to the bird and waited for it to open its mouth. After it did, I dripped some water down its throat. It seemed to be happy with it. I hope tap water doesn't kill birds because I went to get some more water for it.
Glad that I at least got it to drink a bit, I went back to practising on the piano. After an hour I went to check back on the bird. It was fast asleep. I made up a pleasant thought that perhaps my piano playing lulled it to sleep. That's a pleasant thought, indeed. At least this way I can envision that someone appreciates my piano playing.
It's almost bed time now and I took the box into my room. Ryan was a bit repulsed by having the bird in the living room. The box already contains a lot of its droppings inside. Seriously...how many times does one little bird need to poop in a few hours?! It's crazy. Oh well...as long as it's ONLY in the box.
The bird is fast asleep on the floor, next to my bed. Earlier it seemed more lively and less depressed. I guess the few hours of rest managed to recuperate it. The leg still looks flimsy though. I tried to give it some more water to drink but it seemed to have forgotten that I saved its life and momentarily escaped from me. It flew into my wardrobe and managed to get into my underwear and socks drawer. It was quite a chore to fish it out and I was hoping that it wasn't pooping all over my clothes. Then it flitted away to the other side of the wardrobe where all my books were. Ahh...a more accessible area for me to catch the frightened little animal!
It screeched in my hand and wouldn't cooperate when I tried to give it some water. I gave up and put it back into the box and quickly closed the lid. It jumped around the box for a few minutes. Wow...where did all this energy come from? A few hours ago it could barely pick up any energy to do that! Well...it's a good sign that it's got its energy back but I was also afraid that it was hurting itself.
"Shhh...it's okay. I am not going to hurt you. Stop jumping around, you'll get yourself hurt!"
My words managed to calm it down somehow. The box has been dead silent for the past hour now. I'm hoping that it's fast asleep once again.
I am taking the bird to the RSPCA in town tomorrow. I'm sure the veterinareans there can do a much better job than me looking after it. I'm just glad I managed to save its life. I feel like I've done so many wrong things this year and now I know I've finally done something right. If it wasn't for me, that old lady would still be moping around outside her house in fear and this baby bird would've been a certain cat's lunch.
Time finished: 23:57
Listening to: "This Song" - The Enemy
Mood: Great.
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Go to Sleep (Little Man Being Erased.)" - Radiohead
Weather: Not bad.
Mood: Helpful.
I was practising on the piano in the afternoon at home then I hear a slow and soft knocking at our door. I came to an abrupt stop and went to greet the knocker.
It was the elderly woman nextdoor and she seemed a little distressed.
"Ehkyooz meh, leh'il misseh, Ay woz jost wondrin' ef yew cewd du meh a wee leh'il fehvir?" she said in her Scottish accent (for those who can't decipher what I just wrote, it's "Excuse me, li'l missy, I was just wonderin' if you could do me a wee li'l favour?" xD).
I said "Sure, what do you need help with?"
"Well, yew see, my cat cawt a mohwse yeh see, and she's in the 'ohwse an' Ay am afrehd tew goh in..."
"Oh! So would you like me to see if I could get the mouse out for you?"
"Ah yes, please. Thaht wewd beh lohvleh!" she beamed.
I walked into the house to look for her cat. It was an extremely dim lit room with an old rug, old furniture, and old ornaments on the cabinet. The living room smelled of mothballs. A very neat, tidy and typical home of an elderly woman. As I looked around, there was her cat, by the sofa. It was the fluffy black and white feline that I saw almost everyday hanging around our yard. So this is who the cat belongs to! That's one of my life's questions answered!
The cat walked up to me and friendly rubbed against my leg. I gave it a little scratch behind its ears as it closed its eyes and purred in bliss.
"So you're the culprit! So where's the poor thing you've caught?"
As if the cat understood me, she turned around and started playing with this poor little creature that was sort of limping about but still alive.
I called out to the old lady "I found the mouse. Do you have a plastic bag or anything I could use?"
"Yes, Ay've gawt 'em en thih kehtchen dra'er, therd draw dohwn."
Finding a plastic bag in the kitchen, third draw down with no problem, I pulled it out and hurried to the struggling little creature that was temporarily acting as a yarnball for the cat.
The cat obviously wanted to have some fun with it.
"Oi, you...get out of the way so I can get the poor thing!"
The cat wasn't going to fight me. Let's face it. It's smart and knew I was bigger and tougher than she was. I fumbled in the dark room, trying to get this mouse out of the corner. It took me a few seconds to realise that this 'mouse' was no mouse at all! It was a little baby bird!
"Aw, it's not a mouse! It's a bird!"
"Aw naw! Thet's terr'ble! 'f et wawz a mohwse it's nawt soh bahd bot a berd! Thet's jost naw gewd!"
As I held the chick in my hand, it struggled for a while to break free. I held it firmly but not tight enough to hurt it. I looked all over its body to check for any major injuries. The bird was all fine, except for one crippled leg.
"It doesn't look like it's hurt too badly, just one injured leg." I explained.
"Aw gewd! Thahnk ye' soh moch fer ye' trawble! Ay cen goh bahck entew my 'owse agen!" she thanked gratefully.
"No worries. I was glad to have been able to help. I'll try to look after this bird for a while before taking it to the RSPCA".
"Aw thet's soh kaynd ov yew! Yew 'ave a loovleh deh!"
"You too!"
Gosh, I love her Scottish accent! Eheheheh...
The chick calmed down in my hands as I stroked it to calm it down. I could feel its heart throb against my fingers. It was frantic at first but after a couple of minutes of me calming it down, it went down to a very light and slower beating.
As I held it with one hand, I searched my room for a small empty box. With luck, I found an old, empty box in the top shelf of my wardrobe. I didn't think I'd ever use it again so I gently placed the chick into the box. It seemed too tired to respond to its new surrounding and quickly went into a nap.
I searched the kitchen to see if there was anything suitable for me to feed the bird with. I had some apples and mandarins. I also had some left over pasta and rice but I thought the preservatives probably wouldn't be good for the bird.
I mooshed up a bit of apple and mandarin and went over to the bird. I wasn't sure if it would eat fruit but I gave it a try.
As I popped my ugly face over the opening of the box, the bird looked up at me. It looked like it knew I was going to feed it and it opened its mouth. Aww...it was so cute.
I put a bit of mandarin into its mouth. It nibbled on it a bit then dropped from its beak. I tried giving it another piece. It cooperatively opened its mouth again. Again it didn't go in. I tried a third time, and this time I realised it just didn't like the mandarin. I gave the apple a try. After a few goes I decided it had the same result as the mandarin. So the bird wasn't much of a fruit eater then. It looked more like a worm or a locust type.
I went out to search for any bugs that looked like bird feed. I had no luck. I dug around a bit. I don't think I could find any worms and I had a fever too so it was probably a bad idea for me to be out and about digging around for worms.
I went back in to check on the bird. It just sat in the box looking tired. It looked up at me and opened its mouth again.
I went to the kitchen and got a straw. I put some water into the straw and closed one end of the straw so the water was retained. I went back to the bird and waited for it to open its mouth. After it did, I dripped some water down its throat. It seemed to be happy with it. I hope tap water doesn't kill birds because I went to get some more water for it.
Glad that I at least got it to drink a bit, I went back to practising on the piano. After an hour I went to check back on the bird. It was fast asleep. I made up a pleasant thought that perhaps my piano playing lulled it to sleep. That's a pleasant thought, indeed. At least this way I can envision that someone appreciates my piano playing.
It's almost bed time now and I took the box into my room. Ryan was a bit repulsed by having the bird in the living room. The box already contains a lot of its droppings inside. Seriously...how many times does one little bird need to poop in a few hours?! It's crazy. Oh well...as long as it's ONLY in the box.
The bird is fast asleep on the floor, next to my bed. Earlier it seemed more lively and less depressed. I guess the few hours of rest managed to recuperate it. The leg still looks flimsy though. I tried to give it some more water to drink but it seemed to have forgotten that I saved its life and momentarily escaped from me. It flew into my wardrobe and managed to get into my underwear and socks drawer. It was quite a chore to fish it out and I was hoping that it wasn't pooping all over my clothes. Then it flitted away to the other side of the wardrobe where all my books were. Ahh...a more accessible area for me to catch the frightened little animal!
It screeched in my hand and wouldn't cooperate when I tried to give it some water. I gave up and put it back into the box and quickly closed the lid. It jumped around the box for a few minutes. Wow...where did all this energy come from? A few hours ago it could barely pick up any energy to do that! Well...it's a good sign that it's got its energy back but I was also afraid that it was hurting itself.
"Shhh...it's okay. I am not going to hurt you. Stop jumping around, you'll get yourself hurt!"
My words managed to calm it down somehow. The box has been dead silent for the past hour now. I'm hoping that it's fast asleep once again.
I am taking the bird to the RSPCA in town tomorrow. I'm sure the veterinareans there can do a much better job than me looking after it. I'm just glad I managed to save its life. I feel like I've done so many wrong things this year and now I know I've finally done something right. If it wasn't for me, that old lady would still be moping around outside her house in fear and this baby bird would've been a certain cat's lunch.
Time finished: 23:57
Listening to: "This Song" - The Enemy
Mood: Great.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Unwanted Pancakes
Time started: 14:08
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Birds
Weather: Overcast but fine. WINTER IS OVER!
Mood: Impatient
I woke up at 6:30am this morning still feeling sick and tired, but I made a huge batch of pancake mix for everyone in the house. I thought that Jasper would be going to uni at 7am but he never got out of his room so I guessed he wasn't going to uni.
I went back to sleep, dead tired, but was still in alert mode, listening out for anyone waking up.
I waited for a couple of hours and thought meh, since I'm just laying here, I should just check over my assignment. Luckily I spotted a few errors in my assignment.
By 11am, I finished checking over my assignment and decided to do some of my laundry since it's supposedly not going to rain today (for once!).
The laundry took me about an hour so it's noon. Still, no-one was up.
I went back into my room and rested up a bit more, and read a book.
1:30pm and hoorah! Ryan came out of his room! Finally someone was up. So I cooked away some pancakes for him. He ate some, I ate some...now we're both hiding in our rooms again.
It's close to half past 2 and STILL no-one else is awake.
I want to practise on the piano...but I don't want to wake them up. Plus I'm slightly annoyed that I picked the day that everyone sleeps in til almost dinner time to make pancakes.
GARGH! HURRY UP AND WAKE UP SO I CAN MAKE YOU LOT PANCAKES! *Cries*
Time finished: 14:15
Mood: Bleh...
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Birds
Weather: Overcast but fine. WINTER IS OVER!
Mood: Impatient
I woke up at 6:30am this morning still feeling sick and tired, but I made a huge batch of pancake mix for everyone in the house. I thought that Jasper would be going to uni at 7am but he never got out of his room so I guessed he wasn't going to uni.
I went back to sleep, dead tired, but was still in alert mode, listening out for anyone waking up.
I waited for a couple of hours and thought meh, since I'm just laying here, I should just check over my assignment. Luckily I spotted a few errors in my assignment.
By 11am, I finished checking over my assignment and decided to do some of my laundry since it's supposedly not going to rain today (for once!).
The laundry took me about an hour so it's noon. Still, no-one was up.
I went back into my room and rested up a bit more, and read a book.
1:30pm and hoorah! Ryan came out of his room! Finally someone was up. So I cooked away some pancakes for him. He ate some, I ate some...now we're both hiding in our rooms again.
It's close to half past 2 and STILL no-one else is awake.
I want to practise on the piano...but I don't want to wake them up. Plus I'm slightly annoyed that I picked the day that everyone sleeps in til almost dinner time to make pancakes.
GARGH! HURRY UP AND WAKE UP SO I CAN MAKE YOU LOT PANCAKES! *Cries*
Time finished: 14:15
Mood: Bleh...
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