Where Has the Year Gone?

Time started: 00:34
Place: My room (Wattle Park)
Listening to: The clock ticking
Weather: Cold but fine
Mood: Stressed

Is it really the first of November already? Where has this year gone? What have I done?
I can't even play any of my pieces in my program for my technical exam yet...and I've had these pieces all year!

I don't know what is wrong with me. It's like my short term memory for learning doesn't exist.
I would practise for hours and hours every day and when I think I've nailed something by the end of the night (I can play a section with my eyes closed) I forget it the next day, and I'm learning from scratch again...it's really frustrating!

There are only 15 days til the date I was scheduled to do my exam but it seems that I will have to resort to yet again another medical supplementary exam...this is really not what I want...

I just don't understand why I can't do this...it's not like I'm not trying. Yes, there are days when I slack off, but doesn't everyone have those days? I practise my arse off almost every day...and I've had these pieces for the whole darn year...I've even taken up Bikram yoga to help me get back into better health but it doesn't seem to be working. I don't know what to do...this chronic fatigue syndrome is stopping me from doing so much...

I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed but I'm not exactly retarded either...I don't get why I can't learn like everyone else. Yes, I'm a little on the slow side but no progress? Really?! What the hell is wrong with me?!

Lucinda thinks I need to take a year of absence and do single studies for a year to regain my health....put my studies on halt again? Like doing 3rd year over 2 years isn't enough of a breeze for me?! I'm going to be 23 next year...23 without a degree. 24 going 25 by the time I graduate...taking a leave of absence is definitely not on my mind! I need to get out of university with a degree and make a living...I can't be a student forever. I need to start on my future NOW! As soon as I can if I want a better chance with being with Levon...

Speaking of Levon, he has been so busy lately. I hardly get to talk to him. It's like our relationship isn't the same anymore. I know it's something neither of us could help...we both have so much to do in our own lives but I hate how we're both so separate now and not just in terms of distance. I know I do talk to him almost every day but it's always the same every day...we say hi, we do cutesy emoticons and emote actions like *huggles* and *snuggles* and *kisses* and *smooches* and all those disgusting cheesy stuff that you'd expect from Care Bears or Barney. We exchange I love yous every day. It seems beautiful and perfect, right? I don't see it that way. It's like I don't know him. I don't know about his day. I don't know the things that make him happy or frustrates him. I don't know where our relationship is going...at the moment it just seems to be obliviously running around in circles, like a goldfish circling around the fishbowl...
Let's face it. Even though we've been together almost two years and still love each other to death we hardly know each other. We can't experience the joys and pains the same way most couples do. We don't have that opportunity to argue or grow together. To a small degree we can through conversation but it's just not the same. This scares me every day...we're blinded by distance and act purely on feelings alone.
I guess I long for something different in our relationship. It's just that every day it's the same and what's the point? It would just be nice if he'd tell me about his day or his random fleeting thoughts. When I tell him about mine he always reacts the same way like he's avoiding a discussion. It's just a *hugs* or a *pounce* like he's not listening...he often doesn't know what to say...I probably also long some kind of a plan for him. He's just taking things as they go and it's not really enough for me...I need to know what's going on. I need some kind of a direction from him...I don't care whatever the hell it is, it can be anything...I just need something...I can't just hang on for years waiting for something to happen...

*Sigh* I don't know...I'm just not a go with a flow kind of person...
I'm not very assertive either so it's not fair on him if he has no idea what I want. I don't tell him. I guess that's the same with him. He doesn't tell me either. We're both just stuck in limbo pretending that we're happy...

Anyway...I better start being happy so I can focus on my exams and get them over and done with...life would be so much better after I get this damn degree...

Time finished: 01:06
Mood: Tired...

Waiting

Time started: 21:27
Place: Living room (Adelaide)
Listening to: The television
Weather: Nippy
Mood: Indifferent

Waiting is one of the most unpleasant feelings. While you wait, you ponder. While you ponder, other uncertain feelings can arise. Doubt, inconfidence, anxiety...
Waiting can also increase anticipation, that can only increase the likelihood of disappointment in the end.

Waiting is time wasted. Dead time.

One of life's greatest miseries is waiting...

Time finished: 21:34
Listening to: Breeze
Mood: Unmotivated

How Are You Living Your Life?

Time started: 23:43
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Silence
Mood: Grief

It's been a week since Victor's death. He died in a car crash Saturday, 7th November and it's taken its time to sink in for me...
His death impacted a lot on his family and friends, including myself, even though I wasn't that close to him.
However, I grew up with him, saw him at school every day, and he would always be up for a friendly chat.
He was one of the nicest person I knew and had a big heart. It just seemed so unfair he had to go like this and so soon...
Too young, too early...

Needless to say, I've had a bit of a rough week but I can't compare against his family and close friends. I simply can't...

I just saw a video of the news and it hit me like a truck on how real his death is. He is really gone...
I just can't comprehend that...
Here's the link I saw: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=203350576101&ref=mf
I'm just kicking myself I watched it through facebook...
He just turned 21, studying civil engineering at uni, and had so much to live for...and suddenly he's gone...
Everyone expects to live their life to the fullest, living day to day making plans, dreaming, expecting, worrying...and they just don't realise how fragile life can be...
I know I'm one of those people. I live every day worrying about my future. Stressing out about everything. Making my own life miserable with the smallest things...
Over the past month all I've been doing is whining about how hard university is, about how hard it is to cope with my chronic fatigue, now all that just seems too mundane and shallow and Victor's death gave me a whole new perspective in life. Death is very real and no matter how hard you work and worry to give yourself a good life, you are just never in control, no matter how much you want to be...

I hate how the news just make his death at a statistic...
"The NT road toll now stands at 28 compared to 69 at the same time last year." I mean...yeah, it's a road toll statistic but it's another life gone. It's a death of a human being. A life loved by friends and family. A son, a brother, a friend. A life filled with hopes, thoughts, dreams, ambition. A life that was never lived full and suddenly taken away tragically...
However I'm glad to have found an article that was a bit more sensitive about his death: link http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/11/10/99711_ntnews.html
It's nice to know that not all journalists see him as a number but as a human being...

His funeral is tomorrow back in Darwin and I'm stuck in Adelaide worrying about handing in essays, doing assignments, and preparing for exams...
The best I can do is to write a silly blog entry...

I guess my aim is to forget about my stupid essays for a while and take the time to commemorate the life of a young man who was kind and caring who did so much for his family, friends, and the community, and to provide you all with the message that life should never be taken for granted. Please remember to laugh, love and live every day.

Time finished: 00:12

Stubborness is a good thing!

Time started: 23:15
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: "Anthems for a Seventeen-year-old Girl" - Broken Social Scene
Weather: Pleasant =)
Mood: Good =)


I just thought I'd immediately update and respond to my entry from last night...
After beating myself up emotionally last night I've decided I was being ridiculous and took action into changing my attitude immediately. I wasn't going to let my sickness dictate my life!
Be happy, make others happy, and life will be happy.

I meditated to clear my thoughts last night, didn't get much sleep but when I did, it was quality sleep.
I woke up, went to my lesson, still had the biggest migraine ever, but managed to learn a lot from my brief piano lesson with Lucinda this morning. It was brief because I apparently looked like death and was still really sick and tired but I didn't care. I was in a better mood.

After my piano lesson, we had our aural exam. I was expecting to fail because I didn't prepare, I was seeing zig-zags all over the page from the migraine, and my ears were ringing...but I surprisingly cruised through it with no problem. In fact, I'm confident I got 100% :'D.

Later in the afternoon I went to the library to make a start on my essay but I was feeling really nauseated and my migraine was getting worse. I ended up falling asleep at the study table for 2 hours. I can't believe I was knocked out at the library for 2 hours!

I forced myself to get up and go to practise. My head felt like a tonne of bricks but that didn't stop me. I was in a very determined mood to practise and I was, despite my condition, in good spirits. DANG YOU, MIGRAINE! I AIN'T LETTING YOU DEFEAT ME!

To my surprise, the room LG08 was free! I took advantage and started practising straight away.
I don't know how I did it...but I managed to practise in there for 4 hours straight...NON-STOP! It was pretty productive too!

So yeah. I feel like crap physically but emotionally I'm great :'D.

It just goes to show how much positivity with a touch of stubborness can make a difference to getting through.
Well...it was probably really stupid of me to stay at uni and exhaust myself for 12 hours with a huge migraine and chronic fatigue syndrome...but hey, at least I'm happy!

I think I deserve a night of epic sleep now...
I'll make sure to look after myself now...

And I just want to say thanks to those who've encouraged me to be happy and reassure me of my capabilities. I'm feeling a little more confident in myself now. Thanks for all your support. You're all the main reason why I'm feeling happy today =).

Okay...time to hit the sack. You'll probably hear my loud snoring from afar tonight...


Time finished: 23:35
Listening to: "Black and White Town" - Doves
Mood: Content

Half-way through the Degree and waiting to go Home!

Time started: 13:40
Place: Still in my Adelaide room...dangit!
Listening to: "Best Day" - Carpark North
Weather: Freezing cold....ugh.
Mood: Euphoric

So I'm halfway through my degree! I can't believe how quickly time has flown by.
I think I'm doing well considering chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm getting decent grades. At times uni is overwhelming but I am learning to cope with it better and better :). I'm happy!
I think I've done well with my exams. The results aren't posted up yet but fingers-crossed, they will be soon. I felt like I knew what I was doing in the theory exam. I worked hard for my history essay on The Marriage of Figaro and the French Revolution for history. Pey Shin and I both had a ball playing Maurice Ravel's Mother Goose Suite for Chamber and the word of mouth is out that we did well. I didn't do as well as I wanted for my Classical Performance exam but I felt I did the best I could to give a good performance.

I gave my teacher, Lucinda a call a couple of nights ago. We had a discussion on my progress and she's starting to believe in me as a fine musician now. I worked so hard to show her that I deserved to be here and she's finally starting to see the musician in me now. :)
I was over the moon when she told me that I actually got my best result yet for my piano exam. This is great news for me because that means I got at least a Distinction! :D
I'm more happy about being recognised as a musician who enjoys what I'm doing than my grades though. I feel more confident and feel like I'm doing the right thing now.

Speaking of more good news...mum had her check up yesterday. She's given the all clear, can possibly start work again soon...and WE CAN FINALLY GO HOME! Right now I'm just waiting for the hospital to call me to confirm when mum and I are going home. They are taking a very long time to organise it. It's a little frustrating because mum and I are DYING to go home...

I took mum around Adelaide the past week. Pey Shin and I took her to Hahndorf and she enjoyed the scenery there. I also took her out to lunch yesterday and Steven joined us. We ate at Pancake Kitchen and she loved the Cajun chicken xD. We probably stayed there for more than an hour just chatting away about nonsense. And Steven, may I add that your haircut looks fine?! DON'T BE SAD ABOUT YOUR SHORT HAIR!

After lunch, and mum's check up, I took mum to the Botanical gardens and despite the cold, she enjoyed that too. She loved the flowers and trees. It was good to get her out of the house after being cooped up at home and at the hospital for so long. I think I may have exhausted her from all that walking though :S. Whoops...SORRY, MUM!

Speaking of more happiness...I am on a high from love. Eheheheh *blushes*.
I met his parents today. I was not expecting that, and I was nervous! However, they are very lovely! I liked them a lot!! I can see where he got his cuteness, humour and charm from =P. I am hoping I left them a good impression while being myself. It was only a brief little chat though since I was kind of distracting them from dinner...oops. It was a good little chat though :D. I'm still on a little high from it, hours later xD.

Right now I'm busy uploading photos onto Facebook of my Singapore/Malaysia trip. It's about time. I should've uploaded them months ago! Looking back at these photos makes me miss my family. I hope I get to see them again soon. I have a wonderful family! It's getting bigger too with the new generation blooming :). *Clucks* Eheheheh...

Oh, oh! As I write...I just got a call from the hospital. MUM AND I ARE GOING HOME ON SATURDAY!!!! YAAAAAAAY!!! *Bounces up and down*

I don't know what this blog is really meant to be about. I just want to post something happy. I wanted to post something that makes me feel like I've accomplished good things. It's hard to imagine that only two years ago I was the most depressed, pessimistic, and unhappy girl and now I'm a happy clam :). It goes to show how much I've tried to change the way I approach and think of life and grow up :). I'm pleased :). I'm not saying I never have my low moments now...evidently I still do from my last entry...but at least I know how to pick myself up and make the best out of everything now :). Life is too short to thrive on your mistakes, misfortunes, or unhappiness. You could be spending the time spent on thriving on being happy and accomplishing good things in life no matter how big or small. It's never impossible :).

Time finished: 17:13 (I got distracted...)
Listening to: "Marching Bands of Manhattan" - Death Cab for Cutie
Weather: Still cold...
Mood: Chirpy

I haven't updated in a while...so sue me!

Time started: 00:40
Place: My bedroom
Listening to: My mother's snoring
Mood: Indifferent
Weather: Depressing...

Like the title of this blog says, I have updated in a while.
It's been an interesting past couple of months...I don't have all evening to update on everything so I guess I'll just write the highlights of each month.

I went to Perth for two weeks in April. The soul purpose was to visit Erin, and my aunt.
I stayed at Erin and Alan's apartment for the first week I was there. Her parents were there too. They took me around and I got to have a good glimpse of Western Australia, thanks to them :).
I celebrated my 21st early with Rin. We're twins after all, you see. The joint celebration had to be done.
I also caught up with Skyler, a high school friend who I haven't seen for 5 years. It was nice to have caught up with her.
The second week I stayed at my aunt's. My dad was down for a holiday too so it was good to have some time spent with him. They mostly took me around to eat good Chinese yum cha.

After the little holiday it was back to uni. It was a tough Term 2 for me. My health was deteriorating again with chronic fatigue syndrome from a mixture of stress, malnutrition to a small degree, and lack of sleep.

Soon April ended and thus came May. I celebrated my 21st in Adelaide, involving a relatively large gathering of friends for dinner, and karaoke afterwards. It was quite fun and I've never had such a big party before. I also had a humungous cake!

The happy period was brief, however. A couple of weeks later my mother was admitted to hospital due to severe haemorrhage in her brain. She was flown down to Adelaide for emergency surgery and was in the Intensive Care Unit for almost a week. By this time I was already very behind uni and my health was poor so this added a huge weight on my shoulders. I visited mum every single day at the hospital. It's so lucky it's just next to the university. I tried to be brave for her, trying not to show any signs of my own weak health and educational struggles. It's good that my mother is the strongest and bravest woman I know. She was sickeningly chirpy in hospital in fact. The nurses couldn't tell her to shut up enough from all her hyperactive chit chat!

The surgery was a huge success, 3 weeks later she was discharged and decided to reside with me.

June came. Exam season. I was well prepared for all my subjects except for the one that mattered the most: Classical Performance. I couldn't get the practise time with looking after my mother, travelling time, and chronic fatigue...I was on the verge of failing...
I didn't give up. I pushed myself to the extremes. I was practising 7-9 hours every day. I was not going to prove Lucinda right by failing.
My persistence and stubborness pulled me through and I did my exam with a good attitude. I played horribly...but regardless, I put on a good performance and Lucinda was more than pleased.

It is now July. It's winter. It's wet. It's cold. Mum is still here and doing well.
We're both incredibly homesick though. Mum's check up is on the 8th. If she gets the all clear we can go home straight after.

I'm tired. Both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Maybe the winter cold is dampening my spirits. I don't feel depressed, but I don't feel manic either. Good...my nostalgic feelings of bipolar are not present...
What I'm worried about is tonight I'm feeling a little apathetic about life. Maybe it's because I had a very long day today. It was a good day but I'm worn out. Pey Shin and I took my mum to Hahndorf. It could be the chronic fatigue that is making me feel this way but today's fatigue feels different for some reason. I've been thinking a hell of a lot for the past couple of nights. There has been, and will be a change of events. I should stop thinking. It's not doing me or anyone any favours. My indifference is turning to a great fear.

I'm fearing I will lose something that is very important to me...

Time finished: 01:07
Listening to: Mum snoring...
Mood: A little sad.

*Almost sees the light at the end of the tunnel*

Time started: 05:02
Listening to: Morning birds chirping away
Mood: A little more refreshed
Weather: Nice and cool but warm enough :D

I woke up at 4am and it is now 5am!

For the past few days I've been battling with chronic fatigue. I must've slept 20 hours a day for the past week and it was horrible trying to cope with keeping up with piano practise, completing contrapuntal analysis & composition assignment (which was the biggest Bitch with a capital B), writing up my essay for Music History and attempting to study for my Chauralation and Composition exam. I was feeling quite overwhelmed with the work load piling in all at once and not having the energy to live through it. However I'm glad to announce that I'm half way through it.

Yesterday I completed my contrapuntal assignment. I know that it was badly done and I finished it off with a rush but I DON'T CARE! IT'S DONE!! Far out...that was the gayest assignment for the entire year! My colleagues have been bitchin' and moaning about it too because it was so hard and time consuming (as well as brain cell consuming...). I probably spent 14 hours in total on EACH question and there were four of them (well...three, but one of them was divided into two parts). That's 56 HOURS ON THIS LITTLE PIECE OF ASSIGNMENT CRAP THAT WASN'T EVEN WORTH THAT MUCH! Okay...actually it was worth 12.5% which to me is quite a lot...but still........

Anyway...I also completed my Chauralation exam yesterday. What it is is just a singing exam, a component from Music History. It involves singing in a group and individual examination of modal singing as well as sight reading or atonal singing. I chose atonal singing. Overall I got 59/60 for my exam! I'm really happy about it! I lost the one mark from the group singing because our entries weren't really together. We only had two proper rehearsals though and they were quite rushed. Carl (the examiner) said that I was the only one so far to get full marks for the atonal melody. Woo! Maybe I'm some kind of singing genius! Hahaha...well, I could only dream. Well yeah...I'm just really happy about doing well in the exam because it means I got 29.5% out of 30% for the course. Right now I'm well over the High Distinction cut off for music history and just require 78% for my final essay to keep my High Distinction which I'm quite confident on achieving. I'm reasonably good at essays and I got 94% for last semester's essay so yeah :D.

I'm holding onto my happiness on Music History because I'm not doing particularly well this semester overall. I had a white wash of HD's last semester but this semester is probably going to be filled with Credits and my only HD will be for History. Contrapuntal Analysis & Composition exam is my only big hurdle now because I fear that I might actually fail it. I'm behind this course by about 8 weeks and done very little work on it. It's just such a boring subject involving compositing music using all these rules and numbers. It just seems to defeat the purpose of composing music for me. I know that J.S. Bach applied a lot of these rules and wrote great music but contrapuntal music BLAH! It doesn't mean that I have to! It's not like I'm going to be thinking about the rules and numbers of the music while I'm playing Bach! How is that going to help me make the music sound nice? That is beyond my comprehension...

Anyway...yeah...I'm worried about this course because yesterday Pey Shin was looking through my assignment before handing it in and she's noticed that I was doing everything wrong and asked me to study with her today. She's really good at this subject and I hope she can help me pass. If she does, I'll shout her laksa when we're in Malaysia! :D
I just wish the exam wasn't compulsory to pass...otherwise I'd be fine.

My contrapuntal exam is tomorrow (Wednesday) I also have to hand up my final essay for Music History and after that all I need to worry about is the piano exam which is Thursday next week. As long as I'm resting well and feeling energised, I should be able to do fine for the exam. I'm hoping I could pull a Distinction but I don't want to put such high expectations on myself and I'm more likely to pull a Credit. As long as I improve (which I am) and enjoy what I'm doing (which I am) then I'm happy.

Well...I can almost taste the end of the academic year and with my health struggles I'm just glad it's almost over! Not long til I'm home back in Darwin...then off to Malaysia with my mum to see my family! I'm also looking forward to a fresh new start for next year too :).

I wish anyone else who's stressing out about exams and assignments at this time of the year the best of luck and hope they pull through physically and emotionally!

Time finished: 05:26
Mood: Motivated
Weather: Still the same

Writing an Essay is like Proving the Value of 'x'!

Time started: 01:11
Listening to: The whirring of my external hard drive.
Weather: Overcast and fairly warm.
Mood: Exhausted/Somewhat stressed/Somewhat apathetic/Restless.

A lot has happened between the time I posted my last post to the point I am writing this post now...but I'll get to the stuff that has happened another time...right now I want to write about this:

I had a revelation as I was proof reading my friend's essay tonight.

Essay writing is like proving the value of x in an algebraic equation. Symbolically, this is how an essay should be along the lines of:

Essay topic: What is the value of x?

Intro: x + y + z = 16
y = 2
z = 6
People ponder over the value of x all the time but knowing algebra does wonders. For this equation, with the rules of algebra, and the given values, the conclusion can be drawn that the value of x is 8.

Body: If y = 2 and z = 6 then we know that x + 2 + 6 = 16.
2 + 6 = 8 thus x + 8 = 16
x = 16 - 8
x = 8. EUREKA!!!

Conclusion: Knowing the values of y and z in this equation is essential. Without these values, going through algebraic process to solve x is not possible. The world would be a better place if we all just stated unknown values...and if assessment tasks and exams in education is optional only . X = 8, BIATCHES!



This is what my friend's essay is like:

Intro: x is solved like this...this and this...
But wait....the equation is x + y + z = 16!
y = 2. It is also the letter in the beginning of the words "yesterday", "you" and "yuck"!
z = 6. If you turned the letter 90 degrees, it would resemble a capital N! Not many people look at z in this kind of perspective!
x = 8 but it could be also be 4 + 4 since 4 + 4 = 8.

Body: 4 + 4 = 8. It's a scientifically proven fact, okay?!
Some people think x = 4 + 4.
x + 8 = 16 because the laws of algebra leads the equation to evolve to this state.
y = 2 suggests that x is 8.
z = 6 also suggests that x is 8.
OH! X = 16 - 8!
It seems to be that x = 8.
x could also be 4 + 4 since 4 + 4 = 16 - 8 is also true.
But it seems more likely that x = 8.

Conclusion:
x is a value unlike any other! Word.



Yep...I need a holiday.
I'm tired.
I do the strangest things when I'm tired...

2 ASSIGNMENTS DOWN, 2 MORE TO GO!
2 EXAMS DOWN, 3 MORE TO GO!

All within the next 12 days...fuuuuuun.

12 DAYS TIL UNI IS OVER FOR THIS YEAR!
14 DAYS TIL DARWIN!

WEEEEEEEE!

Time finished: 01:24am
Mood: GARGH! I JUST WANT IT ALL TO BE OVER!

Short Darwin Holiday

Time started: 00:23
Place: My room in Darwin
Listening to: "Light" - Menomena
Weather: Cool and pleasant
Mood: Could be better...

It has been a while since I posted an entry. I have a mixture of excuses with being both slack and preoccupied, but I've decided that it is time that I should update this and hopefully make it brief.

I've been in Darwin for the past three weeks and tomorrow morning I am heading back to cold and miserable Adelaide. It makes me sad knowing that the holidays has come to an end.

What have I been up to while I've been here? Well...mostly staying at home and practising unproductively on the piano but I had a few opportunities to catch up with old friends. Unfortunately I didn't get to catch up with them as much as I would've hoped but when I did...it was lovely!
I had a couple of brunches with my old high school friends, and a couple of dinners with them as well. It was nice to have some quirky moments with them like back in the old days. I went to the Mindil Beach Markets every week. I just love the culture and the atmosphere there. Unfortunately I only went to the beach once (I know...disappointing) but I managed to take a couple of nice photos there. It was so nice to see them again. I'm so glad that after having graduated from high school three years ago and been scattered all around the country, we all still manage to get together and spend some time together during the holidays. It just makes our friendship so much more special.
I went to the movies and watched Get Smart, The Dark Knight, and The X Files: I Want To Believe. Get Smart was surprisingly quite amusing and great to watch (I didn't expect much of it, I had to admit), The Dark Knight, without a doubt, was superb but it made me sad knowing that it was Heath Ledger's final full performance. He was a sensational joker, like everyone says. Christian Bale also made an awesome Batman too. In fact...all the actors were good! As a huge X Files fan, I was incredibly disappointed with The X Files. The first movie "Fight the Future" was great, the series, is great...and it took so long for this second movie to be released and it was UTTER CRAP!!! Agent Mulder had a couple of great witty lines here and there but seriously...the movie was just a lame excuse for Billy Connelly to play a paedophile priest! I'm HUGELY disappointed...
At home I spent my free time watching anime. One series I managed to finish watching was Death Note. One word: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe how good this series is!! If you haven't seen it...WATCH IT!
When mum gets home from work, at night we watch movies on my computer. It's good to spend time with her and let her have the opportunity to relax and enjoy a good movie at night. We watched a lot of movies since I was here.
Anyway, the weather here has been pure bliss. It's warm enough to wear just a shirt and shorts (I feel so free!) and it's still cool and balmy. Sunny skies and cool breezes all day long. Just perfect! I am dreading going back to Adelaide right now where it's raining, freezing cold...and miserable. I am also dreading going back to university since earlier I mentioned I practised UNPRODUCTIVELY. My teacher, Lucinda is going to be very unimpressed with how much I've learned of my pieces...which isn't a lot at all...
I am by no means falling behind for semester two, but I really wanted to show her that I'm a dedicated and hard working student. These holidays I've been pretty lazy with piano practise. There were even some days that I didn't do any practise at all!

Well...on the brighter side of things, my semester one results came out a couple of weeks ago. As soon as I got my results I was bouncing off the walls and this is why:
Classical Performance: 82 Distinction (I was expecting a Credit)
Keyboard Musicianship: 79 Distinction (again, was expecting a Credit)
Foundations of Music History: 86 High Distinction (expecting a Distinction)
Analysis and Theory of Music: 86 High Distinction (actually...I expected this =P)
I am sooooo happyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My two practical courses (Classical Performance and Keyboard Musicianship) are still continuing so hopefully I can scrape them up to a High Distinction by the end of the year, I would still be happy if I got Distinction though. And hopefully for Foundations of Music History 2 and Contrapuntal Analysis & Composition of Music for this semester, I can maintain high marks like semester 1.

Well, next time I update this, I'll probably be in Adelaide. In two weeks time though, I will be back in Darwin again for my cousin's wedding :D. I am looking forward to coming back to Darwin and seeing my beloved cousin tying the knot, and just being home, even if it's only for 4 days.

Time finished: 00:59
Listening to: "No Cars Go" - Arcade Fire
Mood: Dread

The First Semester Approaches its End

Time started: 23:35
Listening to: "Eli, The Barrow Boy" - The Decemberists
Weather: Unfavourable to my poor, weakling fingers that are currently numbed from the cold
Mood: Bored

It is now exam season of semester one and I am approaching my very final exam of the semester which will be my classical performance for piano on 1st July. Am I ready for it? Not quite...my left hand has a lot of insecurities and misbehaves. My right hand is bold, arrogant and moves like a truck. Perhaps I am not showing them enough tender loving care. Lucinda tells me that I should have an intimate relationship with the piano. Intimate, huh? Well it seems like we're having a lot of disagreements with each other...
Anyway...before I get carried away with my difficult love affair with a musical instrument, I'll make a short summary on term two (or at least try to make it short).

First of all, I'd like to mention that even though at times the work load has been intense (ie. Music History's final essay, stressing over sight reading and transposition for Keyboard Musicianship, assignments for Music Theory etc, etc, etc...), I have thoroughly enjoyed myself, learning everything about music! I'm doing reasonably well and I feel like I've found my grounds. Once again, I have to say switching from Biomedical Science to Music was by far the BEST decision I've made in my life! I just feel like I belong to what I am doing now. I've never been happier about where I am in life than now.

With my more positive outlook in my studies, I've found that I also have a more positive personality at home too. I'm not depressing around my house mates anymore, seeking comfort in them like I did in the past. I concentrate better in class, and with my surroundings elsewhere. I think clearer, I'm happier, filled with more energy and overall, life is just so much better.

The fundamental cause of this is making friends which I've struggled and tried to do since I moved to Adelaide. First of all I'd like to make a testimonial to Pey Shin: fun, genuinely caring, supportive, loyal, spontaneous, and even with her don't-take-life-too seriously attitude and energetic nature, still sophisticated and wise at the same time. I look forward to going to uni just to talk to this girl and hearing what she has to say about anything. I feel like I can learn a lot from this girl in terms of life experiences and outlooks in life as well. Her genuine kindness also makes me love her more and more as I get to know her too. I can just feel that we'll share a lot of good moments to come in the coming years. Even though I only got to know her in such a short time, I already feel like I can trust her completely and hopefully I can show her my loyalties to her too in return to what she's given me.
Secondly, a testimonial to Sam: What can I say...oddball (!!!!!), at times - psychotic, intellectual, energetic, funny, enthusiastic, friendly, always smiling and easy going (as well as easily distracted =P). He is like the icing of the cake that makes dull cakes awesome and gives them their zest (yes, I'm terribly with my clichés...lay off, will ya?)! I'm glad I've had the opportunity to study music theory with him because I've learned we share a lot of common interests, especially with music (and none of my friends share my taste in music! Waaah!), and he's a lot of fun to talk to and be around. I feel like I can have enjoyable conversations with him that have no means of an end when a lot of other people would find talking to me completely and utterly boring. His dedication and enthusiasm astounds me too. I've told him this many times already but I'm so proud of him.
Pey Shin and Sam are pretty much the two new friends I've made that helped me get through the last moments of Semester 1, especially when we practised for our Chauralation exam and our Introduction to Analysis and Theory of Music exam. We had intense rehearsal and study sessions which consisted of us going to uni almost every day for several hours, getting together and helping each other learn and improve. We tired ourselves out physically and mentally yet we supported each other all the way through and there were hilarious moments here and there that made it oh so fun! Even though I am REALLY glad the Music Theory exam is over (and I think I did brilliantly in it, by the way), I miss our study sessions which I know we won't have for another few months at least! Boohoo :(.
Speaking of Chauralation rehearsals, I can't fail to mention Feishi (who we affectionately call Fei =P, maybe I should call Pey Shin/Josephine 'Pey' or 'Joseph'...hehe...OHNOES...TANGENT!): I don't know her TOO well yet but from the short time we've spent together I've learned that she is very sweet, encouraging, dedicated, and she surprisingly tolerated my bossiness (well, I felt like I was being bossy anyway) during the rehearsals (I'm so sorry, Fei!). She was always bubbly, friendly, yet reserved in our rehearsal which I think is really cute. Hopefully I will become better acquainted with her next semester!

I also must mention Johanna whom I also haven't gotten to know too well yet but am getting there. She has expressed a lot of kindness and concern for me during times when I was sick, or stressed from studies. She's quite funny, mature, and really friendly with everyone around her. I cannot forget her giving up her studying time, coming out night shopping with me (Pey Shin too). We spent a good two hours at least looking for my black pants which I needed for our Chauralation concert, even though she didn't need to buy anything that night. She also kindly helped me out with Music Theory by giving me her mp3's for our Repertoire Listening Project. What a life saver!

There are also a lot of other people that I would like to mention here too but I have still yet to know them better but I am keen to for the next semester. In the mean time, I am really happy that I have made awesome friends this semester and I would like to express my gratitude and love for them being awesome for who they are :). I feel so blessed to have met so many kind people throughout my life, especially here in Adelaide where I'm away from home, mum, a lot of my old friends. And how can I forget my old friends? They are all so important to me, and they know who they are so I don't need to mention their names. It's only just over a week 'til I get to see them again back in Darwin, and for those who aren't in Darwin...I will see them some day again :).

Okay...now to events (yeah...I think I epically failed on keeping this short!). Early in June I had my Keyboard Musicianship Exam. I did alright but I didn't do as well as I would've liked. Sight reading really let me down. I am tragic at sight reading. I wouldn't be surprised if I got zero marks for it. I also did horribly in clarinet transposition too (which is practically sight reading). At least I did perfectly/almost perfectly at my other prepared topics so that made up for the ghastliness. We also had a Chauralation concert which overall was pretty good. I witnessed some very awesome choirs and I had fun singing in it too. It wasn't so much fun going home alone late at night though...
I can't remember the chronological order but I also did an Aural test (which I aced), an assignment for Theory (89% Woo!), Music History essay about Enlightenment and the Sonata Form (which took me forever!!!!!!), Chauralation exam (individually I did pretty good, but our group performances weren't quite so because of the sound of the keyboard playing while we sang...oh the horror!), and finally, the Music Theory exam we did on Monday. Pey Shin, Sam and I studied so hard for it and I think I did good, Sam reckon he passed (yay!) but Pey Shin was disappointed for not finishing one question, but I'm sure she did excellently overall anyway!

Today (well...yesterday according to the clock) I caught up with Adam whom I haven't seen for a several weeks and we went to Glenelg for lunch. It was good to see him again and we had a depressing reminiscence of the 90's which wasn't so good but what the heck...the day was still awesome! It was good to get out of studying and just going out and taking some time off while catching up with a friend!

Now I have nothing to do but practise 6 hours a day on the piano for my piano exam which I am EXTREMELY nervous about...I really want to do well but I feel like I haven't gotten up to the standard I want to be at yet.
I hope everyone else who has/had exams is doing/did fine with their studying. For those who still have exams, good luck!

Time for me to shut up and make my exit! Min has left the building! Peace out, and goodnight!

Time finished: 01:09
Listening to: "Battery In Your Leg" - Blur
Mood: Glad and exhausted