The Truth Hurts

Time started: 23:08

Place: My dining room (Wattle Park, Adelaide)

Listening to: "Something About Us" - Daft Punk

Weather: Cold

Mood: Pondering

A discussion with an old friend of mine lead me to think about lies that people tell. He claims that knowing the truth is much better than not knowing and forever wondering but the look on his face has an interesting way of proving his point.

People take up their entire lives searching for the truth with a million questions:

- Does he/she feel the same way?

- Does this make me look fat?

- Am I really bad at doing this?

- Is there a God?

- What is my purpose in life?

- Is he/she the one?

- What do people really think of me?

- When/how will I die?

We ask these questions because we're searching for the truth...and often the truth is not something we want to hear, so why do we search for these answers if we're happier not knowing? What preparations can we actually make by knowing the truth?

I told a friend of mine a truth that I knew he did not want to hear yet he persisted on knowing and talked me into it saying it'll do him more good than harm, that I have to be cruel to be kind. So I did, which only lead to more unnerving questions. His face told me a story of nothing but hurt and regret as a response to my answer.

We've all been there before...searching for a truth, and disappointed with what we'd find. Are we really happier not knowing or being lied to? Do people really move on from a truth that pains them to the core? There are two kinds of people in these situations:

- People who build a bridge and get over it, or

- People who don't, walk through the rapid stream and plummet down the waterfall.

The truth hurts and it can either make you or break you. I'm finding myself more cynical with more painful truths. What's the point if there's nothing in it for you or others? So, ignorance is bliss or knowledge is power? How should one live their life? More questions...

I guess the best way is to think, with every crisis comes an opportunity.

However I'm yet to know what that opportunity is...

Time finished: 23:24

How Are You Living Your Life?

Time started: 23:43
Place: My room (Adelaide)
Listening to: Silence
Mood: Grief

It's been a week since Victor's death. He died in a car crash Saturday, 7th November and it's taken its time to sink in for me...
His death impacted a lot on his family and friends, including myself, even though I wasn't that close to him.
However, I grew up with him, saw him at school every day, and he would always be up for a friendly chat.
He was one of the nicest person I knew and had a big heart. It just seemed so unfair he had to go like this and so soon...
Too young, too early...

Needless to say, I've had a bit of a rough week but I can't compare against his family and close friends. I simply can't...

I just saw a video of the news and it hit me like a truck on how real his death is. He is really gone...
I just can't comprehend that...
Here's the link I saw: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=203350576101&ref=mf
I'm just kicking myself I watched it through facebook...
He just turned 21, studying civil engineering at uni, and had so much to live for...and suddenly he's gone...
Everyone expects to live their life to the fullest, living day to day making plans, dreaming, expecting, worrying...and they just don't realise how fragile life can be...
I know I'm one of those people. I live every day worrying about my future. Stressing out about everything. Making my own life miserable with the smallest things...
Over the past month all I've been doing is whining about how hard university is, about how hard it is to cope with my chronic fatigue, now all that just seems too mundane and shallow and Victor's death gave me a whole new perspective in life. Death is very real and no matter how hard you work and worry to give yourself a good life, you are just never in control, no matter how much you want to be...

I hate how the news just make his death at a statistic...
"The NT road toll now stands at 28 compared to 69 at the same time last year." I mean...yeah, it's a road toll statistic but it's another life gone. It's a death of a human being. A life loved by friends and family. A son, a brother, a friend. A life filled with hopes, thoughts, dreams, ambition. A life that was never lived full and suddenly taken away tragically...
However I'm glad to have found an article that was a bit more sensitive about his death: link http://www.ntnews.com.au/article/2009/11/10/99711_ntnews.html
It's nice to know that not all journalists see him as a number but as a human being...

His funeral is tomorrow back in Darwin and I'm stuck in Adelaide worrying about handing in essays, doing assignments, and preparing for exams...
The best I can do is to write a silly blog entry...

I guess my aim is to forget about my stupid essays for a while and take the time to commemorate the life of a young man who was kind and caring who did so much for his family, friends, and the community, and to provide you all with the message that life should never be taken for granted. Please remember to laugh, love and live every day.

Time finished: 00:12